Master Cleanse, Day 8

Eyein’ up a tall drink of lemon water

Last Sunday night I embarked on the Lemonade Diet (aka Master Cleanse), a routine of 60 ounces of a lemonade concoction with additional diuretic teas and such to help you make it through the day. 7 days to 40 days, to be exact. Here is what I found:

• The Cleanse will bring on hunger for everyone around you.

B.C. (Before Cleanse):
Me: Honey, can mommy make you something?
son: No thanks.
Me: You should eat something.
son: No. Thanks.
Me: Anything?
son: No.

D. C. (During Cleanse):
Breakfast: Mom, will you make me french toast?
Brunch: Mom, can we go to McDonalds?
Lunch: Mom will you make me pizza?
Snack: Mom, can I have the strawberries?
Dinner: Mom will you make me noodles?

• The Cleanse is Doable if you don’t have a job:

Day 1: Everything okay? You look tired
Day 2: You look tired today. Are you tired?
Day 3: Are you dying? Seriously, are you dying?

• Components of the Cleanse work, but will cramp your style.

I’m speaking primarily of the Salt flush.  You’ve got no food in you, so there is nothing to leave your system. Also, edema like swelling was making it impossible for me to wear shoes.

• The Cleanse will make people question your sanity

Client 1: What is that in your glass? Lemons?
Me: Yes
Client 2: What is that in your glass? Iced tea?
Me: Yes
Haircutting client from across the room: What is that in your glass?
Me: eyeroll
Client 3: What is that in your glass? Is that…
Me: Yes
Client 3: You’re going to get crabby.

Indeed I did. I started moving and thinking in slow motion. Try doing meticulous work while under a citrus induced lethargy.  3pm on the daily was my time where it felt like I had to have some sustenance, so I folded and modified the cleanse.

I had the drinks in the morning and throughout the day and into the evening, but had something to eat to tide me over the afternoon lag. I also allowed myself a cup of coffee.

And I lost 5 pounds, even after eating a meal.

Now that was easier.

So far I’ve lost 16 pounds since March and I’ll be going into another week with the modified Master Cleanse to see what happens. I find the taste pleasant and, coupled with some actual nourishment, I can get along throughout the day just fine. Here is to another 7 days.